Hello everyone! It’s me, Lex Chase, and I have arisen from the ashes like a coughing and hacking phoenix wondering who the hell would dump a pile of ashes on my corpse.
Where have I been? What have I been doing? Did this blog die? Did I die?
Let’s Have Some Straight Talk
On May 31st, I mentioned there would be a delay on the new BLP Recipe over Twitter and Facebook. Not a peep on June 1st or 2nd and then June 3rd rolled around and my world came to an immediate full stop. I called the doctor ASAP.
Now, Let’s Be Honest About Some Medical TMI
At 6:30 am on June 6th, 2013, I underwent an emergency colonoscopy. I’m 34. And the doctor said I was much too young to be on her table. The chronic medical condition that I alluded to here in my post Adventures With Metformin is in fact severe constipation. I’m not kidding when it’s to the point I think I’m going to have an aneurysm every time I go.
And then on the day of June 2nd, instead of my usual routine, I started eliminating blood and blood clots. And it was off to the doctor I went.
You’re Going To Put What Up My What?
The good news in my medical misadventure, I’m actually okay! The worst of it is I have a mild case of diverticulitis, which we caught super early and should be no problem if I keep an eye on it.
But as funny, or gross, or not appropriate to talk about at all, getting a colonoscopy is no joke and not something to put off. We have these commercials now talking about colon health, or Jamie Lee Curtis pimping yogurt to make us be regular, and we all laugh. And we all ignore it.
For women, it’s like getting a mammogram. We’ve finally gotten to the point that it’s nothing to be afraid of and it’s socially acceptable. Wouldn’t you like to see an end to breast cancer walks every October because there’s no longer a thing such as breast cancer?
Getting your colon checked out? People giggle. People don’t want to talk about it. People are genuinely afraid or find it a violation of their person.
Start Talking About It
The part that freaked me out the most was the prep. Mixing Miralax into juice and having to choke it down was not my idea of an awesome time. Turns out if you mix that stuff up well enough, you can’t detect it at all. Just as the night progressed I was so over drinking juice!
The most enlightening part of my whole adventure was looking up tips for what to mix Miralax with. I found a message board for those with Chron’s Disease and they cracked jokes with each other that it was just another day. They asked about what new flavors of Gatorade to try and got quite excited by the ‘Green’ flavor or the ‘Orange’ flavor. One guy made the comment about making his juices exciting while he ‘peed out of his butt.’ I laughed and giggled until five minutes later I spit giggles all over again.
The thing about these guys, is they were kids all kids younger than me, and have done this upwards of six to ten times in so many years. And here I was at 34 and my doctor said I was too young to see her.
So, if these kids can talk about it, why can’t adults that are old enough to be the parents of these kids?
Take A Step, Take Charge
My mom had been on me for years to go see a gastrointestinal doctor about my problems. It wasn’t until there was a problem, I finally decided to go. Luckily, my story has a happy ending. But for others, waiting until there’s a problem is always the worst thing to do.
Don’t wait, and don’t put it off. Imagine all off those women that were too scared or too offended by the idea of getting mammograms, and see what we have now every October. Now imagine all the men and women alike too scared or offended to get a colonoscopy? What month should we put on our calendar as colon cancer awareness month?
Would we still be giggling then?