On my medical records I am listed as “morbidly obese.” That doesn’t sound pleasant. Every time I go to the doctor I get the “Are you dieting and exercising?” and I say “Yeah, yeah…” and we laugh it off, because we know I’m not. I’ve been diagnosed borderline diabetic (which is thankfully not the case now!) I also take a veritable cocktail of medication for bipolar disorder so I can be the exuberant bundle of pop-culture and quirk that we have all come to know and love.
This past weekend, my mother found an old box of photos in the garage at least 15 years old. And it was a stack of me. No idea what I weighed at the time. But I’m guessing is at least 280 or more. I think 280 is being generous.
And of course, every January, the show The Biggest Loser starts again for a new season. The show of course has become less about the encouragement and more about the drama for the ratings. But sometimes, there’s nuggets of wisdom.
One of the latest contestants, a lovely lass with a shining personality and is known for her quirkiness broke down on the scale and said she wants to learn to love herself the way people love her. Another good one was a charming gentleman pulled a huge number, and was angry. He had seen that number a thousand times before, and he wouldn’t be satisfied until it was gone for good. These particularly resonated with me.
I like myself well enough. I’m pretty confident, I enjoy bringing people joy through my stories and stupid cat pictures and flailing over Disney Princesses. (Aurora or bust yo.) I’m told I make people excited, because I get excited. And I get excited like woaaaaahhh.
But here’s the key phrase. I like myself. That’s not necessarily bad. But I can be better. I can be a better version of myself.
And one number I have likewise seen a million times is 254. That was my start weight every time I rejoined Weight Watchers. Every time. Does it make me angry? Of course. But it also makes me a little sad too. Because I know I can be better.
We all have our thing. We all have our hangups. And we all have our dreams. And we all want to get better at something. The most valid piece of advice is “You Do You.” So I’m making the step to “Me Doing Me.” So I’m going to be here, every Wednesday, yammering on about the number on the scale and how I am more than a number.
So you tell me, what do you want to get better at? What are your goals? What makes you angry? What makes you proud? What is the one thing you want to get better at doing? (For me it’s actually mastering how to fry an egg. TRUE STORY.)
If you’re going to choose one thing this year, choose you.
In conclusion, let’s enjoy Daisy Ridley of Star Wars: The Force Awakens being fierce af in her training. Look at those planks! #Goddess