Scale Tales: Frustration Is My Middle Name

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Hello, Internet! I wish I could greet the world with a happy and perky hi! How do you do? But today on Scale Tales we’re going to get a little real. And that is with every struggle with weight comes The OMG Frustration!

I’ve made an effort to track my weight for a solid month. Once a week, I’d weigh, and jot down the number. I thought I’d be awesome and share the start weight when I started this column, so we could all keep track of the pounds together. Well. I was excited at first. And then it all fell to pot.

For three weeks of tracking my weight, I’ve gained one pound.

That’s crap. While one pound isn’t a huge deal. It’s frustrating. Because right out of the gate, bam, not a loss but a pound put on. And for someone who it waaaaay isn’t their first rodeo with trying to lose weight, if I was a first timer, I’d toss up my hands and quit on the spot.

Looking through my old photos, when this column started, I had posted this one:

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Crazy right?

And then I found this one from 2013…

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That was shortly before my first GRL in 2013. And that was the very first time I had ever fit into a large tee from Threadless since they run obnoxiously small. I was 25 pounds lighter. And if I remember, I was down to 224. It took me 13 years but I was 56 pounds lighter.

But now I am here, this is from last year in 2015 in Disney World…

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I had put on 26 pounds since 2013. Even though that’s not entirely true. I was actually back up to 250 before I started making an effort to lose it again before my trip to Disney!

I’ve been on and off and on and off the weight loss cycle for over a decade. When I had left for Savannah College of Art and Design in 2006, I was at my lowest at 222. On the nose. I was excited. New school. New me. New environment and a place I could start over. But I wasn’t prepared for the stress, the constant functioning on pure adrenaline, and the deadlines on top of deadlines. It all seemed impossible, but it all got done under any means necessary. From no sleep, to living off granola bars because you had zero time to cook.

But I was on adrenaline, and the highs stayed high, and it all felt good, real good for a while. I was dropping pounds every day. I was excited! Finally the weight was coming off faster than ever. It didn’t dawn on me till later I was dropping it from pure stress. That, my friends, is no bueno.

Now that I have the luxury of writing full-time, and writing from home, I have to be extra vigilant. Though I’m not always. I live with my parents, and my brother. As we know, my brother is a chef who specializes in pastry. My father retired this past November, and amazingly has discovered the joy of cooking. Not even a month ago all he could make was grilled cheese!

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But it’s not their fault. They’re good at what they do. And saying it’s my fault is doing the whole negative self-talk thing that no one likes these days. But let’s get real, it is my fault. I can still eat what they make, but limit the portion. Just to quit cold turkey will only backfire. You’ll feel deprived and soon you’ll be eating all the things.

But if there’s one thing I learned about any of this. Even if you hate getting your picture taken because you’re self-conscious, do it anyway. Even if you don’t share them with anyone, keep them. Look at them every month. I mean that. You look vastly different from month to month. It shows in your emotions, and your body. It shows you how far you’ve come, and how far you have to go.

Are they all bad pictures? Then that’s your kick in the pants to do something about it.

Are they all great pictures? That’s your kick in the pants to keep going!

So, you guys, yes you, all of you that have followed this lovely column. You have an assignment. I want you to post one positive thing about yourself. Either leave a comment, or comment on this post on Facebook. Let’s think positive this week!

And you wanna know what you’re playing for?

All commenters will be entered to win a shiny $5 USD Dreamspinner Gift Certificate!

Winner will be named next week!

So think positive!

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